THE LURE OF THE INTERNET
BY FASI MARCH 14, 2021
The lure of the Internet has cost me my young life.
At the time of my death, my soul was leaving my body, and I was in pain. At that moment, I finally knew I was wrong, and I repented, but no amount of repentance could have saved my young life.
"I died on the Internet."
Many people may wonder why a young person like me, who was addicted to the Internet and died playing on the Internet at a young age, is qualified to be reborn in the Pure Land.
After all, my parents are still alive, and they have had to bury their children.
If you could heed my warning, you could change before you follow me down this path.
I passed away more than ten years ago
I was very fond of playing online games at that time, and I used to hang out on the Internet for days at a time without closing my eyes.
No one in my family cared how much time I was wasting on the computer. My family was indifferent towards me, which made me feel disconnected from real life. I often live in a fantasy world where I go online for days and organize teams to conquer a city in a game. I was addicted to the fantasy world, so much so that I was not interested in the real world.
My character in the online game was such a high level that I would often lead a team to attack a city in the game. I always thought it was more real than life. Unlike in real life, I found that sense of existence and achievement in the game where I didn't even feel alive.
After I was born, my parents left me at my grandparents' house and I often didn't see them for long periods.
I gradually went from being dependent on my parents to being dispensable to them, and eventually, I just got sick of seeing them because they didn't have time for me.
I didn't realise that I had become the most familiar of strangers to my parents, and I even thought in my heart that it would be better if they didn't show up.
"The most familiar of strangers"
Colder and colder inside
My grandparents have always been very fond of me and understood that my mum and dad were not around, so they always did what I wanted. My parents would always leave some money to my grandparents and ask them to take care of me, and the money ended up being the support for my addiction to the Internet because my grandparents didn't understand what I was doing.
At the height of my craziness, I hardly slept for more than 10 hours a month and spent almost all of my life playing online games.
My grandparents didn't understand what I was doing in my room and often praised me for being a good grandson, staying at home every day, not running around, getting in trouble.
The Internet was the only place where I felt excitement and joy in being alive.
When my parents discovered I was skipping school, I was beaten and scolded, but at that time, I did not listen to a single word they said. I disagreed with what they said, and their reprimanding only drove me further into my addiction and away from real life.
By the time they realised something very wrong, I was already skin and bones, and my eyes were scattered and dull. They enrolled me in military school, hoping that the rigours of military education would help me find a disciplined lifestyle.
At first, I resisted, but the rigour of my military education almost wore me down to the point where my life began to be disciplined, and my body began to grow stronger. The long hours of training in the army made me physically stronger. When my parents saw my changes, they were quite pleased, but they didn't notice that I was becoming colder and colder inside. It was only because of the strict rules of the army that I had no strength to resist.
I obeyed orders according to the army's rules. But I could not find happiness at all.
I died a violent death
"The moment I died, I realised how wrong I had been in my life."
After three years, I withdrew from the military school without telling my parents. I went back to the internet café and started playing online games day and night as if I was venting my frustrations and the lack of freedom I had felt all these years. I spent all the money I had saved in the cafe. In the end, I died a violent death.
I had been dead for many days before I was found, and someone called the police to deal with me. Because I had paid for internet access for many days, no one would normally bother me while I played online games. It was the tenth day in a row that I had not slept. I was online in a dark corner of the cafe when suddenly my whole body stiffened, and I died instantly.
I was only 20 years old at the time. When my parents arrived to identify the body, they were crying, and I could hear them crying out, but it was too late. I felt deep regret the moment I died.
The feeling of being addicted to the Internet, I know it is a force of attraction that keeps you wanting to go deeper and deeper and become more addicted. I lost my life on the Internet, and the moment I died, I realised how wrong I had been in my life.
Meeting the King of Yan
I had failed my parents and rejected my grandparents' love and care. I was so ungrateful that I only cared about my own feelings and ignored my parents' hard work. Everything was about my feelings, and I selfishly wanted to hide in the online world. I thought that by hiding on the Internet, I would be able to make up for my lack of satisfaction in life, but when I died, I realised that I had made a mistake.
I was wrong about my parents' intentions for me and the rules I should have in life. I thought I could get the life I wanted on my terms, but in the moment of my death, I realised my mistake. I was so sad, and in pain, I knew I could never go back.
After my death, I went to hell. The King of Yan condemned me for many crimes, including lust, murder, theft, and the most heinous crime of all, unfilially - impudence. The king told me that life in the virtual world is like everyday life, where twisted desires or influences can create invisible sins. Many of the people I have killed in the virtual world were to be punished in hell because I have killed at the moment; and the lustful thoughts on the Internet, the inappropriate words and flirtations between men and women, or the many indecent photos and videos, all of which have led me to commit the sin of undue influence. In hell, I repaid much of the Karma I had created in this world, and it was only because of the sincere repentance that the King of Heaven granted me a respite from my sins.
Meeting Ms. Sú
I was so grateful to the King of Yan for his help and for allowing me to meet Ms. Sú. I began to listen to the sermons of Ms. Sú every day, and she was really like a kind grandma.
Later, when I listened to Ms. Sú's Sutra, I knew that I didn't have a chance to be in regret anymore, and I began to change and try hard to be liberated.
Of course, I have to thank the King of Yan for helping me along the way and the many kind priests in hell for their compassion and allowing me to be reborn early because they said I was younger and still had a chance to join Ms. Sú to help the world. I will live up to their expectations and practice well to join the Salvation team and help all sentient beings.
After listening to Ms. Sú's sermon, I finally found my meaning in life and understood what life is. I am very grateful to Ms. Sú for her enlightenment, which has helped me wake up. I am ashamed of myself for having been so ridiculous and for having lost such a precious body, and now I have no more human life.
I am grateful to Amitabha Buddha and Ms. Sú.
Namo Amitabha Buddha.
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Thanks to Vivian for her contribution.